It’s time.

In the ‘90s, you tried making peace with your inner child.
In the ‘00s, you tried making peace with your outer adult.
In the ‘10s, you've tried making peace with politics, religion, and Internet pop-ups.  

For Heaven’s sake, it’s time to examine something actually important.

Your inner glove. 

Before we explain,
we of Advocating Gloves Over Gloves (AGOG) must take a moment to welcome both the glovely-virginal and the many-times-over gloved.

A BRIEF HISTORY IN GLOVES

For those of you not yet wearing gloves throughout the annual glove season, we nod (a pity-drenched nod) and bid you read on.

For those of you who've worn gloves more regularly than Carl Paladino has distributed offensive emails, we celebrate your devoted renewal of the enthusiasm we all share.

And for those of you who have never heard of the annual glove message -- we recommend a dirt shovel from Home Depot -- to dig your way out from beneath whatever mountain you’ve managed to crawl under.

THE ANNUAL GLOVE MESSAGE

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For the Northern Glove Region (north of the 38th parallel), from October 1 though March 31, wear your gloves EVERY TIME* you go out of doors.

*The FIFTY-TEN Exception: Glove use is NOT required during those (brief) periods when air temperature rises above fifty degrees Fahrenheit (ten degrees Celcius).
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This is the MOST EFFECTIVE MEANS to avoid the agonizing cuticle cracks brought about by winter's chill. Let us not speak of them again. Instead, we entreat you to continue learning about the you inside you.

AN INNER SECRET FOR AN OUTER PROBLEM

Face it. You’ve probably already wasted thousands of self-help dollars trying to improve your self esteem, or to lose weight, or to stop obsessing over failed relationships. We are forced to inquire:

• Are you any more confident?
• Did the couch lose the groove that form-fits your under-lap region?
• Has an 'old flame' invited you out for cocktails and clever repartee?

We thought not.

Listen to us before it's too late. Cancel your next counseling session and go buy a pair of inner gloves. They’re just 99 cents at Walgreens.

Inner gloving. It’s about avoiding that common cuticle syndrome: Preventable Agony Instigated by Neglect (PAIN) brought about by modern glove abuse.

We understand the temptations. You’re bored at the bus stop and the urge rises. You’re leaving the car for the grocery and the familiar buzz begins just south of your beltline. You’re stepping out for lunch and that bleep from your honey gets your fingers going.

If you’ve found yourself in one of these situations – or something similar – you’ve probably tried to satisfy that urge. Regardless of the cuticle consequences, you’ve pulled off your single-layer glove in sub-fifty temps and whipped out your iPhone/Palm Pre/Blackberry/Touch, or whatever other device the tech heads from Palo Alto are pushing this week.

When you’re out there battling the elements and the call comes in, it’s so easy to slip off your glove and pump the tiny buttons. But, folks, let us ask it this way:

• Would you juggle swiss army knives bare-knuckled?
• Would you rout around the disposal with your pinkies in the raw?
• Would you nudge your naked fingers into a bucket of boiling water?

We could go on, but folks, please understand that pulling off your glove in sub-fifty temperatures is no less dangerous than any of these treacherous examples.

We of AGOG are, well, simply agog to share the solution. You can operate a mobile device during the winter months AND still preserve the glove tenets. With inner gloves.

If, before you leave the house, you put on a skin-tight, inexpensive glove as layer one – your inner glove – and then don your regular winter glove as layer two – your outer glove – then you’re protected for modern eventualities. It's that easy.

IN SUMMARY

Before you exit, take a few moments to review the valuable content
on our site. Your cuticles will thank you.

• Glove Testimony: One male's view. 
• Glove Archives: Preserving the annual glove notice since 2002.
• Glove Friends: Please patronize our advertisers, without them, we couldn't bring you this critical message each year.
• Glove Blog: Submit your own comments or testimony today.

As always, kind reader, we of Advocating Gloves Over Gloves thank you for your stalwart commitment and ongoing courage. May the cause we all love so well continue to bring healing, hope, and health to a dis-heartened world.   

If you learned anything from today's message,
check out our founder's other writing at www.JupitersShadow.com.